(A Modern Fairy Tale)

Mel bought 100% snow tires,
a juicemaker with real beef,
but was a lousy accountant
and his wife had 1.27 babies--
all with skinny legs,
finally they agreed on toilet paper
and Mel ordered 100 gallons of toothpaste
through the Home Shopping Club,
the girl at the desk was very friendly
and gave a complimentary kiss,
gift-wrapped and home-delivered,
Mel had a nice swimming pool
with a 4-door sedan,
but his wife could not afford
another abortion,
so they sold their condominium
to the lonely insurance salesman,
who booked them for a trip
to Hawaii--
needless to say, Mel's teeth
needed dentures and he was
laid off from work,
when his telephone rang
and in came Mr. Goodlooking
himself, who offered Mel a position
in the Company, but none of them
could type, so they ended up
in divorce.

                                            June 6, 1987
                                         --Alexander Shaumyan